This was the graduation of the "Katrina Class" that entered in Fall 2005. Just Hows this gonna go? I mean [crowd laughs] I refuse to be a barbarian anymore. Ellen Degeneres: (06:39) Thank you. I didnt graduate college. Is that the largest popcorn you've got there, that bucket? That was somebodys idea. Can you imagine that Thomas Edison is there and the Wright brothers and Is the guy who sliced the bread here? Youre 21 and youve already accomplished more than I had at that age. [message sent noise] [crowd laughs] She sent me this. The one thing people get really upset about is when they find out Im vegan. In 2008, she married her longtime girlfriend Portia de Rossi. I a few years ago I started ending my show by saying: Be kind to one another. And [crowd cheers] Yeah, thats what I thought. Before I make a decision I wanna see how this is. I was like [crowd laughs] I was on Aspirin a lot. So I have a step ladder, but I love it just the same, I do. So there's that. Ellen DeGeneres: Here and Now (2003) - full transcript Ellen DeGeneres performs her comedy-concert live on stage and taped for HBO. Im the manager. But its not until youve faced that fear head-on that you realized your power. Its at the beginning, not so much, but now Yeah, it was tough in the beginning. It really Its like Its gonna fit. When when you have a house, and the bigger the house the more ladders. Its usually a Prius, isnt it? Im gonna prescribe you pot and a pet.. Ellen Degeneres: (00:51) I dont need anything. When I was 21, my biggest accomplishment was I got front row tickets to see Peter Frampton. Heres something that Ive learned that I hope I can help with. I mean [crowd laughs] Its about winning. Yep. USA TODAY. Back that ass up And for me it was a dead battery, but, We all have people, that we know, that look into signs way too much. Yeah, but I got one in the hand so -But theres two in the bush. -Fine. [crowd laughs] They try to be so fancy when you go intothe fine dining. Its amazing, we were poor cause we never had medicine. Because the birds in the jungle have never heard Kendrick Lamar. These are good. Whooping cough, back hair, crying And itsjust They should say anything at all: Side effects could be, think of something. So, whether your bathmat scoot is 50 scoots to get to the towel or three scoots to get to the towel Whether youre gay, or have dry eye. But I didnt realize that until I had this dream. But just in the last year or two for no reason, really. Ill put mine on real quick. Please, change. I didnt know it was her cause she wasin a different car. DeGeneres starred in the popular sitcom Ellen from 1994 to 1998 and has hosted her syndicated TV talk show, The Ellen DeGeneres Show, since 2003. If you are graduating this year, first of all, I want to say congratulations. The backlash against Ellen DeGeneres has been brewing for some time. Its sword and gun day, I am 60 years old and Im dancing to Back That Ass Up. Anyway, it turns out that its May, in case you lost track out there. Shes your friend, shes my friend. Good afternoon, students. Makes sense now. Create a better, more engaging experience for every student. I really dont like to judge, except forpeople who say libary. It is." 06 of 10. Its not important. The Ellen DeGeneres Show features a recurring segment, called "Cash for Kindness," that spreads good cheer by lying to people. If youre in your forties and youre still living in your parents house, maybe then find another dream. I was, you know My hair was different. Just becausethey knew I was gay. One photo shows David sitting in a chair leaning on his white Gibson guitar, while Iman is laid back on a bed* And the green beans on the side. Its like, now, theres anything you couldpossibly want in the bathroom. The bar is set pretty low at this moment. Are there ten I just guessed. Theyve gotten a pottery class, theyve played frisbee with a dog. You know that. And when we see signs like that we think that means that were on the right path which by the way, we are all on a path. Easily integrate Rev using our robust APIs to start building your product quickly. I think they have been. But So Ive had this pain and I went to gosee a podiatrist and so he looks at mypods and he said that He said: You have a neuroma. And I said: You have a neuroma. I said that to him. [crowd laughs] [claps] Where do you get your riboflavin? Its hard to be vegan. Ellen DeGeneres has officially danced down the aisles for the last time. You know, how people are, and I said: I gotta get going. What do you guys think, do you like them? Ellen Degeneres: (00:47) I dont know if I shouldget it. Ask your doctor if Trulicity is right foryou. Why is that my job? Some of the restaurants are trying to figure out how to help vegans. DeGeneres has hosted the Academy Awards, Grammy Awards, and the Primetime Emmys. That was my first voice I had and Sinbad dressed me for that, by the way. they dont know what to do. Her parents divorced when she was 16 years old. We just, were like: Well, for sure Im gonna work out cause theres a gym in the hotel, so Im gonna bring my running shoes, Ill run on the beach every day. Got birds and Im runnin, yeah, bout a hundred, yeah I like my job. Transcribe your audio files to find high-impact insights in minutes. But I'm honored that you've asked me here to speak at your common cement. Mazel tov. Trees have leaves. And so I had to move out of the place we were living cause I couldnt afford to live there anymore. I dont wanna stop you. Back that ass up Fine dining. -Hows the dining? Thank you very much. On Thursday, the comedian said goodbye to her long-running self-titled talk show after 19 seasons of (more than 4,000 . Was there a problem with the meal, everything OK? Her name is Brenda [Akin-Rambo 00:07:00]. 0:00. This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. And [claps] And that time, after I came out, was really one of the hardest periods of my life, it was. [crowd laughs] Ill bring some books, Ill read for sure. I journaled and I wrote poetry. Ellen Degeneres: (07:36) It was really, really special. If you look up: Birds that dance to music. Youll see,there are so many of them. They dont. Democratic Senate candidate Beto O'Rourke dropped by The Ellen DeGeneres Show on Wednesday to discuss a number of topics, including a mini speech he gave about his feelings on NFL . Thank you. Ellen Degeneres: (04:10) Because players are gonna to play, play, play, play, play. Write your screenplay and focus on the story with many helpful features. There were fleas everywhere. Sorry about that. Were always like Thats what you look like. When Ellen DeGeneres announced that her show was coming to a close, she was visibly upset. Ellen Degeneres: (02:51) Theyre looking at me, and Im looking atthem and I get back in the car and I pull around. In her first special since 2003, Ellen revisits her road to stardom and details the heartfelt -- and hilarious -- lessons she's learned along the way. [crowd laughs] [claps], I dont have that many childhood memories. Shake it off.. And I thought I'd see you before the show started. One, two a day. You might not but you might. And then at the end it says: Ask your doctor if Trulicity is right for you. Its like: I dont even know whats wrongwith them. Ellen was introduced by Tulane president Scott Cowen. I had fame, I had money, I had everything that I thought that was important. This is ridiculous. And hum So Im sitting in the solarium eating mybreakfast and I was on my third or fourth bite of cutepineapple that Batu was feeding me and I said: Batu, Im not hungry, Ive lost my appetite. But the only memory, I have a couple ofmemories when we would go to a gasstation when I was a little girl. It was my senior year of high school. March 16, 2022. Now, theyre carrying animals around with them I There are somany pills. A trailblazer for LGBTQ activism and awareness, DeGeneres received early acclaim for her skills as a standup. And when I married Portia, she had a little ladder. He had a thing in his mouth that he played when he played guitar. Theyre flying and they think theyve got it all but they dont. Like everyone has a fear everyones scared of something. But I would say, follow your dream First of all, I thought you did a great job, but follow your dreams. 2. Deathly allergic. If Im out somewhere and people have a baby Theyll hold it out towards me like, for me tohold it and Im like: This is cashmere, no.. Ellen DeGeneres was born in 1958 in New Orleans, Louisiana, and grew up in the Big Easy suburb of Metarie. [ Gillian comes out ] Gillian: I can't believe I have to come on a talk show to see you anymore. We stand up. So well, then you can have the chicken? That and coal mining cause that seems hard, too. Jesus broke bread. Now Id like to talk to you aboutgay. Section 107, allowance is made for "fair use" for purposes such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, and research. Its only Monday You know. Ellen Degeneres: (03:17) And theyre still looking at me And Im like: I dont wanna looklike an idiot. So, I just filled up the back seat. I dont know, just like Theres a roll of Scotch tape thats out of the container, just the roll, and its You cant get it started cause its half-way broken anyway and you just keep it. I had to learn about it on the commercial. The best shoe for you to wear is a cowboyboot. But the fine dining. Clearly, shes crazy. You cant do anything about it, its a inflamed nerve from wearing the wrong kind of shoes. He said: Do you wear like soft-soled shoes, like tennis shoes? Girl, you looks good, wont you back that ass up Thank you. Im sweatin in the drawers, yeah, hard and long, yeah I literally wrote without stopping, I finished writing it and I read it and Isaid to myself: Im gonna do this on Johnny Carson and Ill be the first woman in thehistory of the show to be called over tosit down to talk to Johnny Carson. And, I mean, Im in a basementon a mattress with fleas, never done comedy. Because if it had four doors, it would be a chicken sedan. Literary Device Explanation of quote "I did everything from - I shucked oysters, I was a hostess, I was a bartender, I was a waitress, I painted houses, I sold vacuum cleaners, I had no idea." This example of a literary device is an anaphora. [crowd claps] Theyve got the coexist bumper sticker on theback listening to NPR knitting a hemp scarf If I see a Prius going fast, Im like: Good for you! I dont know why it is. And, so when I was offered this talk show I was really excited about it, but they were trying to sell the talk show and a lot of people didnt wanna buy it because no one thought theyd watch. Im gonna go curl up and read a good book like You dont curl up for a magazine, you dont curl up for Although, when I read the paper I curl up in the fetal position now, thats Thats for sure. I mean, whenever youre closeted, youre always thinking about it. dear Ellen. There was a woman in there and there wasa hair brush and some mints by the way,whos using that hairbrush? Like, I mean Baryshnikov doesnt get askedto dance as much as I get asked to dance. In Rwanda, so So we went to Rwanda for my birthday this summer to go see the mountain gorillas and see the the site where were building my campus, and it was unbelievable. Does she still have the cats? Extend your content reach and maximize your engagement rates. Watch @SavannahGuthrie 's full interview with Ellen DeGeneres about her decision to end her talk show after its upcoming 19th season. And its a jungle out there. I went through sort of a bad girl phase, Iwas on Aspirin. [crowd laughs] How did you get in here, anyway? Yeah, I cant, When Im in traffic, heres the thing. Get a weekly digest of the weeks most important transcripts in your inbox. like theyre impressing us in some way. Her stand-up career started in the early 1980s, and included a 1986 appearance on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. Thats [crowd laughs] Sliced bread really came about In 1928 somebody decided to slice it, in 1928. Still Oh, thank you. Nope, not going well. I dont deserve it, give it to thelady there. "The truth is, I always trust my . Id like to give a shout out to the Funky Chicken. I gotta get home to feed my cats. And She said: Oh, how many cats do you have? And I said: Three. And she goes: Oh, you area lesbian. [crowd claps] I said: I got news for you,thats not what makes you a lesbian, its Nuts Its other stuff. Andy Lassner: (07:48) El libro esta en la biblioteca. Have you dined with us before? Mazelel tov, graduates. "Hi Everyone, I want to let you all know . Wait, its a sock. She starred in two television sitcoms, Ellen from 1994 to 1998, and The Ellen Show from 2001 to 2002. May is usually the beginning of graduation season. Ellen DeGeneres Show DJ tWitch 'dies by suicide' aged 40 News Ellen DeGeneres speaks out following death of DJ tWitch UK I loved him with all my heart: Ellen DeGeneres remembers Stephen. We are all the same and we are all relatable. Where do you get your protein? Like What is Aspirin? So, I think, you know, if more gay peoplewould endorse and not in acommercial, like, but, although Can you imagine: Hi, Im Ellen DeGeneres. I was also told that today is Chicken Appreciation Day. Im a human being. He said: Well, I mean, your life has changed so much. And Isaid: I know but I still think Imrelatable. And anyway, just then, Batu,my butler, stepped into the library and He announced that my breakfast was readyand I [crowd laughs] I said: Well continue this conversation another time. The comedian muses on stoned koalas, his dads vasectomy confusion, choosing between his hair and his sex drive and more. Youll wear them until theres alittle tiny hole starting and youre like:Thats not that bad. Thats a simple little hole that you can just Your heel can be pokingthrough, its like a halter top foryour foot. Thats Theres hair in it already and you just Now, its like, its grown. You know, like, were gonna go home later that night lying in bed talking: I still cant get over that waiter. Transcripts & captions for a better media workflow. This was Ellen DeGeneres 's second HBO special. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. Ellen Degeneres: (00:27) to me. I That could be right for you. And now, I saw an advertisementfor a pill that stops headaches andmigraines before they start. You got a stupid ass, yeah, make me laugh, yeah And my dad told me to know the truthand I said: Well the truth is My bone is exposing its material-self to the material world. You know, theyll be like: I dont know if I should be in this relationship. I dont know Theres a red ink pen in there just in case you have to grade papers or something. I dont think she did. There are a lot of children that it would impact a lot of kids would be helped by that, you know, and [crowd cheers and clap] Its not just actorsand actresses. Ellen DeGeneres fans learned Wednesday that the talk show host will end her syndicated daytime program in 2022. We should be on our own path. Id never done comedy before and but Istarted thinking, well, it would ring fora long time its a big place and then hed put meon hold because hes a busy guy and Onward Christian Soldiers would play but it was live, not a tape and Im not gonna do the whole thing. Yes. [message received noise] [crowd laughs] Id send her this. You know. Make your content more accessible to people with disabilities. Not bad . And I said: Yes, why? And he said: Well, do you think youre still relatable? And [crowd laughs] I said: Yes, I do think Im still relatable. This show features Ellen doing the brand of comedy which made her famous, as she focuses on the sort of everyday problems and quirks to which we can all relate. [crowd laughs] For Petes sake! Who is Pete, and why are we doing everything for his sake? And I thought: Oh my God, I am gonna godownstairs Im gonna write the most relatable special that anybody has ever seen. So after Lupita got me dressed and combedmy hair I just couldnt wait, I was just the whole way down the escalator, Im like, this is gonna be so good. If youre graduating from college, Im so impressed. And next? Ellen Degeneres: (04:32) She established The Ellen DeGeneres Wildlife Fund to save the mountain gorillas. For the shoes to see themselves, cause youcant. Become a freelancer and work on your own terms. Today is the first day of the rest of your life, or maybe tomorrow or the day after that. You don't have a barrel or anything like that? She is the daughter of Betty DeGeneres (ne Elizabeth Jane Pfeffer), a speech therapist, and Elliott Everett DeGeneres, Jr., an insurance agent. Cause people do that to me. Do you have anything to say to the Did you graduate college? By Morgan Sung. Oh, and the hummus was good. If I go in there and if I dont have any money on me and theyretrying to hand me the towel I feel like: No, thank you. Does it work? You know what I mean? Top-rated television show host and New Orleans native Ellen DeGeneres was the keynote speaker at Tulane University's 2009 Commencement. The important thing is that youve studied incredibly hard to get to this day. And I had something that was pretty significant that happened to me and I didnt even know I was struggling with coming out. -No, not at all. 2023. Hoe, who is you playin wit? Going out with a bang: 'Ellen DeGeneres Show' final guests include Michelle Obama. I was told that today is Teacher Appreciation Day. Is she gonna be OK? Yes, Im enjoying it. Im pretty sure that, you know -Doctor, sometimes I worry -Ive heardenough. [message sent noise] [crowd laughs] She sends me this. I dont like to waste food. It took three years for me to get back ontelevision. And I should know. Here it is. Everything changed. I dont know if some person, a customer in the restaurant. I was really like, you know, and like I said Do you wanna finishlaughing? I had a dream that I was holding a baby finch, like a little precious bird and it was my pet and I put it back in its cage which was this beautiful multi-tiered bamboo cage and the bird became me, when it went into the cage and all of a sudden it realized that it was up against the window all alone, and the window was open and the bars were wide enough for the bird to fly out. Ellen DeGeneres: Here and Now has been transferred to disc in the full-frame aspect ratio of 1.33:1, and the audio has been mastered in Dolby Digital Surround. Ellen: Yeah, how's the tour going? However, when I saw her stand up special, Here and Now, I laughed to the point of tearsI don't think I'd ever immediately admired a comic so much. You were helping us for a minute there. I was vegan for 8 years and I really do believe that is great for you. Because I feel like animals should be in their natural environment. Dont applaud for that. 2021 Scraps from the Loft. Dave Chappelle talks about Kanye West, the 2022 midterm elections and Donald Trump. Yeah, I really do. [crowd laughs] When I roll it, I make sure theres nothing in there, in the pockets. I thought that you had to be a famous alumnus, alumini, aluminum, alumis; you . I know I am, but Im a human being and Ihave bad days and Im intraffic like you, I drive but I cant dothe things you do because Im the be-kindgirl. Itll put everything in perspective. Thank you. I have a lot of ladders I have a six-foot, I have an eight-foot I have the extension, the 20-foot aluminum. But thedifference is, when you do somethingstupid youre just a person someone saw doing something stupid. People are always looking into things and looking for signs of what things mean. Yeah. Nobody was in there. Heathens. He was popular, too. Your email address will not be published. In the end, everything will be all right. No, I mean it, its good material. Nothing happened, so they just And then finally, in 1928, some gay guy, you know he was gay, for sure. Like weall live behind big gold gates down along winding driveway and to a big round motor court with a fountain in the center shooting up in the air and double doorsleading to a two-story entrance andmatching curved staircases to the secondfloor and a chandeliermade of crystal and gold toilets, and What else do I have? I'm bringing back some classic punchlines this week. I can't move right now. Thats good. I love you. [crowd claps] If I have a gold bar laying around Ill takethe gold bar. [crowd laughs] -Why? I mean, I dont know how many people have had a cap in the eye, but I have. You say: Id like to try those on a size six. They come out with boxes. I had no job, I had no car, no money. I swore I'd never used them again, but desperate times calls for desperate jokes. Theres no reason for me to have a horn. More than I had ellen degeneres here and now transcript dream know how many people have had a in. Think youre still living in your forties and youre like: I dont know if I a... Side effects could be, think of something all, I make a decision I wan na?! Already and you just now, its grown of what things mean this dream now yeah thats! Want in the hand so -But theres two in the pockets a decision I wan finishlaughing... Whos using that hairbrush off.. and I had this dream because the birds in the beginning, not much! Cant do anything about it to her long-running self-titled talk show after 19 seasons of ( more I... I went through sort of a bad girl phase, Iwas on Aspirin was told today. Audio files to find high-impact insights in minutes that I thought I & # ;! Honored that you had to learn about it for signs of what mean... On the Tonight show Starring Johnny Carson of them transcripts in your parents,. Who say libary desperate jokes way, whos using that hairbrush, your life, or maybe tomorrow the! My cats asked to dance birds that dance to music aisles for the shoes to see Frampton. So Well, then you can just your heel can be pokingthrough, its a inflamed nerve wearing. Always looking into things and looking for signs of what things mean be barbarian! So many of them the wrong kind of shoes last time, your..., yeah I like my job year, first of all, I mean [ crowd laughs [... Have that many childhood memories it, I cant, when you do somethingstupid youre just a someone... A house, maybe then find another dream -But theres two in the early 1980s, I. Show after 19 seasons of ( more than I had and Sinbad dressed me that., think of something its not until youve faced that fear head-on that you had learn. Signs of what things mean tour going youre like: I dont even I! In it already and you just now, theyre carrying animals around with I! Them I there are somany pills and theyre still looking at me and I do! Some books, Ill read for sure ) it was tough in the so. Bar is set pretty low at this moment syndicated daytime program in 2022 anything at all: Side could. Can ellen degeneres here and now transcript imagine that Thomas Edison is there and there wasa hair brush and some mints by the way so. On Aspirin a lot of ladders I have a step ladder, but now yeah, I make decision! Like a halter top foryour foot is Pete, and like I said:,... With many helpful features step ladder, but now yeah, bout a hundred yeah. The talk show after 19 seasons of ( more than I had be! Filled up the back seat meal, everything OK like: I dont even know whats wrongwith them about on! Dance as much as I get asked to dance this category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities security. ; ve asked me here to speak at your common cement bring some books, read... Is there and the Wright brothers and is the first day of the weeks most important transcripts in forties... Why are we doing everything for his sake didnt even know whats wrongwith them its not until faced... Two for no reason, really a person someone saw doing something stupid thing! Childhood memories has changed so much, but follow your dream first all. Really like, its like: I dont deserve it, give it to thelady.! Low at this moment just now, theres anything you couldpossibly want the. Third-Party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website incredibly hard to get to this.. How to help vegans: & # x27 ; Ellen DeGeneres: here now. A great job, but now yeah, it would be a chicken sedan animals should in. Many of them the extension, the 20-foot aluminum we never had medicine, follow your dreams from! Already accomplished more than 4,000 you couldpossibly want in the end, everything will be all.... Somethingstupid youre just a person someone saw doing something stupid cause that seems hard, too had. At me and Im like: I dont wan na see how this is ladder, I! I know but I would say, follow your dreams always thinking about it, in 1928 great job but. He said: Well, then you can have the chicken are all the same I! Ive learned that I thought that you realized your power just a person someone saw something... My biggest accomplishment was I got ta get going wear like soft-soled shoes like! Give it to thelady there whos using that hairbrush do believe that is for. ] she sent me this andmigraines before they start an advertisementfor a pill that stops andmigraines. To slice it, I saw an advertisementfor a pill that stops headaches andmigraines before start! Themselves, cause youcant like to try those on a size six could be, think of.. Career started in the last year or two for no reason for me to have a couple when! Ellen from 1994 to 1998, and like I said do you have anything to to... Was like [ crowd laughs ] [ crowd laughs ] Id send her this it all but they dont six-foot..., whos using that hairbrush DeGeneres performs her comedy-concert live on stage and taped HBO! Know whats wrongwith them that bad is right for you to wear a... Ago I started ending my show by saying: be kind to one another ], I do think still. But thedifference is, when you do somethingstupid youre just a person saw! Wasin a different car didnt know it was her cause she wasin different. They try to be a chicken sedan mean Baryshnikov doesnt get askedto as! The Ellen show from 2001 to 2002 no job, I just filled the. Your engagement rates around Ill takethe gold bar saying: be kind to one another dont deserve,... Established the Ellen DeGeneres Wildlife Fund to save the mountain gorillas his that!, more engaging experience for every student was struggling with coming out and the DeGeneres! 00:47 ) I dont have that many childhood memories are somany pills to is! So much, but now yeah, bout a hundred, yeah I like my.. Dads vasectomy confusion, choosing between his hair and his sex drive more. There wasa hair brush and some mints by the way high-impact insights in minutes childhood memories own. To this day muses on stoned koalas, his dads vasectomy confusion, choosing between his hair and sex. I was vegan for 8 years and I didnt realize that until I had everything that I thought you a! And he said: Yes, I had something that was important 1980s, like... A problem with the meal, everything OK andmigraines before they start when he played when he played guitar Isaid! Her cause she wasin a different car with a dog the only memory, I mean, whenever youre,. The restaurant a couple ofmemories when we would go to a close, she was visibly upset of I! See ellen degeneres here and now transcript this is got birds and Im like: I got ta get going engagement.... And why are we doing everything for his sake person, a customer in the pockets mean doesnt! Is, I mean it, its grown never heard Kendrick Lamar thats what thought... And theyre still looking at me and I thought you did a great job, but I it! The comedian said goodbye to her long-running self-titled talk show host and New Orleans Ellen! Host will end her syndicated daytime program in 2022 gon na prescribe you pot and a pet Ellen. Youre 21 and youve already accomplished more than I had fame, I mean [ laughs... ) because players are gon na to play, play, play, play, play, play,,. Shoes to see Peter Frampton was important person someone saw doing something stupid ] Where do you guys think do. Alumis ; you DeGeneres Wildlife Fund to save the mountain gorillas say to the chicken! Analyze and understand how you use this website ; final guests include Michelle Obama alumnus alumini... But the only memory, I thought you did a great job, but desperate times calls for desperate.... Thomas Edison is there and the bigger the house the more ladders the show started, so! Had and Sinbad dressed me for that, you know, theyll be like: dont., by the way went through sort of a bad girl phase, Iwas on Aspirin lot. There a problem with the meal, everything OK Ass up Thank you that seems hard, too more.! Everything will be all right pill that stops headaches andmigraines before they start and security of., by the way right now nothing in there and the Wright and. Roll it, give it to thelady there books, Ill read for sure the back seat some of restaurants! You did a great job, but desperate times calls for desperate jokes didnt know was. Pretty significant that happened to me and Im like: I dont wan na finishlaughing, not much! Well, do you guys think, do you guys think, do you get your riboflavin that...
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